Staring Near my Feet

The plasmatic water meanders over the deck of the ship as it finds a proper path to freedom. At the same time, minutes blow by like chips of flaking paint, strewn about within the cool breeze of the ages. A microcosm of life unfolds before my eyes… all within the span of a few feet.

Where shall we meander? What is our proper pathway to freedom, to a salutary salvation from the pain brought about by the unknown? Does such a path even exist? This is a question that falls like spring rain daily across my soul in my never ending quest to gain further understanding. What might I learn from this traveling liquid today?

As the water struggles to make its way further aft against the rugged rigidity of the ship’s deck I observe its slow advances. Its travels take time – a constant battle to progress towards desire as well as a battle against falling back into the destinations of yesterday. Our own life’s travels can take even more time, our struggles more arduous. While one may fight to advance and feel the searing burn of frustration when their steps seem to fall behind them, they must understand that every movement is one of forward progress.

Existence in its most real sense is a constant forward movement. Emotions may cloud this fact yet it is this particular fact that still remains true. Your reality, your life, your existence is a perpetual advancement of time and understanding. Feelings of regression are only emotional stumbling blocks, for you will learn something from them every time.

We, just like this water on the deck, will move forward in our life even as we struggle through the nooks and crannies of that rugged path which lay before each of us. Then, when all is said and done… when we reach the end of our own ship that is our life…. We, as with the water, will drift off and into the sea…. And, with that, into the setting sun.

Sunset Rambling

Sweet freedom rains on the soul when one witnesses a sunset as spectacular as the one this evening. A wave of refreshment rolled over every pore of my spirit as I watched that glowing cosmic ember melt into the sea… a gift of hope… a fresh bridge built in that moment which will carry me down the path toward tomorrow.

Sometimes, this planet has an awkward way in which, in mere seconds, it can put every aspect of your life back in perspective… in a universal order of sorts. At the same time, it can provide you with a cup of meaning from its sacred pool of rejuvenation. Harmony and peace have come to me on this night riding on rays of amber fire.

Today is finished. Tomorrow will be a new experience within the cloudy terrain of uncharted territory we refer to as life. The soft decent of that falling orb provided me the clarity to make a journey into that great unknown… a spiritual connection between me and the universe in which I reside. Tonight, that universe reached out to me – as if to let me know my place within it.

White Canvas of Explanation to the World

I hate it when people make you feel like an idiot when you don't catch onto something as quickly as them. I was gripping the entire emotional point of an artful film piece and made one comment. Just one and someone had to take a stab at me without thinking like a real human being... what an asshole... he made it out like I was slow from too much alcohol or some crazy shit like that... it was all a joke in his mind... and yet it embarrassed me then and it kills me now. He had no clue the other thought that I was putting into every aspect of the piece yet he chose to open his beak and reign out one hideous comment that really hurt me on the inside... not the first time and it sucks. I hate humans when they are mean... we'd be so much better if we were nice to each other.... How hard is it really? ...to greet the world with some respect, humbleness, and humility? But, who am I to say? I am just the retard on the couch that obviously didn't get something that everyone else did... and maybe that's the problem... I think so much I miss the fucking point. I don't get my life. Nothing makes sense to me. Shit sucks. People suck. I can't even have an understanding with the face looking back at me in the mirror anymore. Just another incident to add to a complicated existence. Why can't things work out? For once, I'm sick of asking empty questions. I want an answer and it's the most unattainable thing of all. Where is my connection? Where is my telephone line to the soul recipient within my reality? I need that more than anything right now because the world is creeping me out with its hostility and disinterest.

To Whom It May Concern

The clouds drift by slowly - in the sky above
An existence incomplete without someone to love
Feeling like I want to shed a couple tears today
Locked inside my head with nothing much to say
Or so much to say - but no one to listen
Not even the water has enough light to glisten
So much emotion for another that I just can't shake
My insecurities leave me without a move to make
And I just don't know - which way I should go
So much buried inside that its starting to show
Feels like I'm at my limit - the pots about to tip
I grab another beer and then begin to sip
To try to forget the thoughts - inside my head
From sparkle of her eyes to everything she's said
It's like I can feel the electrons every time she's there
Moving between us both - all amongst the air
I've never felt anything even close to that
This secret has stomped my heart so completely flat
I know time is wasting, friends will leave soon
Half the problem is a friendship that I don't want to ruin
The other half is me - and the fear I conceal
But these feelings that I feel tell me this has to be real
Plus, there's the worry of rejection - I cannot lie
Even though my feelings for her - I cannot deny
A turn-down from a stranger can always sting a bit
But from a friend it would hurt more than I'd like to admit.
So I sit here alone - hope is all that remains
While my heart is locked up in the grip of these chains.