White Canvas of Explanation to the World

I hate it when people make you feel like an idiot when you don't catch onto something as quickly as them. I was gripping the entire emotional point of an artful film piece and made one comment. Just one and someone had to take a stab at me without thinking like a real human being... what an asshole... he made it out like I was slow from too much alcohol or some crazy shit like that... it was all a joke in his mind... and yet it embarrassed me then and it kills me now. He had no clue the other thought that I was putting into every aspect of the piece yet he chose to open his beak and reign out one hideous comment that really hurt me on the inside... not the first time and it sucks. I hate humans when they are mean... we'd be so much better if we were nice to each other.... How hard is it really? ...to greet the world with some respect, humbleness, and humility? But, who am I to say? I am just the retard on the couch that obviously didn't get something that everyone else did... and maybe that's the problem... I think so much I miss the fucking point. I don't get my life. Nothing makes sense to me. Shit sucks. People suck. I can't even have an understanding with the face looking back at me in the mirror anymore. Just another incident to add to a complicated existence. Why can't things work out? For once, I'm sick of asking empty questions. I want an answer and it's the most unattainable thing of all. Where is my connection? Where is my telephone line to the soul recipient within my reality? I need that more than anything right now because the world is creeping me out with its hostility and disinterest.